I have spent the better part of my life searching for something. What is it? I am not even sure what it is. Is it contentment? Is it peace? Is it a new beginning? Is it learning to love? Is it me?

The question that I keep asking myself lately is......Where do I belong? Where do I fit in? I keep praying for God to give me an answer. I feel like I know the answer, but I keep questioning God. I do know in my heart that someway, somehow I am to use my emotional journey to reach out to others. What does it look like? Where do I begin? How do I start? Is it through this blog? Am I willing to risk all the years of protecting myself and put ME out there on the chopping block? Some people won't like it. Some people are too guarded. Will I be shamed? Will I be ridiculed? Will I be shunned? Will I be questioned?

I was in hiding for so long that this feels so uncomfortable. But I do believe that God gets us out of our comfort zone so that other's lives can be changed. I imagine Jesus feeling a little uncomfortable when he knew that someone was going to betray him. But he continued on the path that God laid out before him. He had the reassurance of knowing that God was walking with him every step of the way. Is it my lack of faith that holds me back? Is it the "world" holding me back? Is it my family? Or is it me?

Questions, so many unanswered questions......and with questions come more questions. Am I who I really say or think that I am? Am I really who God wants me to be?

God speaks to my heart.....the answer lies within the covers of a book. The answer lies within the pages of the Book of Life, God's Book, The Holy Bible.
God speaks, "The answer lies within you. I will give you the answers as you need them. I will carry you through. I will be with you every step of the way."

For now, I am waiting. Waiting for God to speak to me and slowly guide me, mold me, shape me into the disciple that he wants me to be.

God speaks...."Be still my child. I am coming back soon. Prepare a place for me. Bring others to me so that they may learn to live. Eternally. For Me and My Glory."